these people

so the last time i was home in mesa, i was with my mom, one of my 82 sisters (Abbi) and my aunt Linda. We were chillin over at my grandma's house, playin cards and just laughing at life.
and i thought to myself... i love these ladies. they are they greatest examples i have in this life. they are beautiful and sweet, are wonderful wives and mothers, they serve those around them and yet can act like the biggest goofball 13 year old girls or dirty old sailors (hehehehe) all at once. i hope i can be as cool as them someday.
they are truly my idols

My grandma and my Aunt Linda. been best friends for going on 40 years

Linda and a few of my sisters

But. on top of the wonderful women in my life. i have some pretty swell guys in my life too. one in particular is my grandpa. he is my hero. in everyting i do, he's always been a fan. he wants me and all his family and everyone around him to succeed. he strives everyday to be better.  and without a doubt that guy definitly has a ticket to the celestial kingdom. he's a champion.
back to the story though.. that night while all of us girls were hootin and hollerin he was servin us drinks and bein a gentleman. then, so subtly, without anyone noticing, he came up behind me, slipped a nicely numbered green bill in my lap and whispered "just a little gas money to get you back to school." kissed my head and left us girls to go do some reading. giving. if i could describe my grandpa in a word it would definitly be: giving. he's so selfless. plus he's the coolest. all the little primary girls and boys want to be his best friend. Redge Conrad Stephens. You're the man.

xo. -M

you wonder..

sometimes i wonder.  i like to ask my family all the time if i'll ever get married. they used to tell me yes.. but then i think they got annoyed so they stopped saying yes and started telling me no.  my dad says i'm just gonna live with him forever. my mom does too. i'm okay with that. i'll just make cake and cookies all day. i love baking.. round out all that fat with some chicken for dinner. i also love to cook..

it's weird to me that some people lterally have no idea how to cook. 

back to the getting married thing.  my sister, abbi had this conversation with me the other day.

abbi: you're really old

me: uhhh. last time i checked i was only 19. (in my head: ishh. i am old)

abbi: yea, that's old. you realize you probably are never going to get married

me:dude! i'm 19! i have loads of time! i don't even want to start thinking about guys like that til i'm well over 21.

abbi: yea, but you don't even have a boyfriend. you're never gonna get married

me: well, you're just... (lack of comeback. storms off and whines to mom)

mind you, my sister is 14. i laugh and think it's funny.. but deep. deeeeeeep inside i wonder if she's right..  getting personal here. i'm not the class A, boys at my feet, done-up, makeup and hair perfect... or even done, girl.  and when guys do like me, they typically are the ones who are more femme than i am.  plus, i'm freakishly awkward.  i do really weird things all the time. i get funny looks from people and play it off and pretend that they're actually super impressed with how cool i think i am.

my mom and my grandmas and aunts have these amazing stories of meeting their husbands so young and how it just worked and everything was lalala and peacky keen. I"M NINETEEN! illedgedly that's really old. *sigh* forever alone.